the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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