So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
All the doctor said was why
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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