Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
