I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
