Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize