rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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