just tell him i said nine months
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
