like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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