Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
