They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
