Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
