Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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