Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm going to jail i love you
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
