Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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