I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You took a bar mat shot.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
