How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
