I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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