Whod you bang
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
