Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I'm really busy with my period
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