I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
