I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
