i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
