I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
