can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Come see our sink grown plant.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
