Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
