i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
