I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
