why didn't you poke me back
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
