i was born a porn star she said
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how do flat chested girls get laid?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize