i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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