his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
