Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
