yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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