It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize