Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Pants are for mortals
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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