my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Im part way to drunk.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
