You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
In other news, I just burned my penis
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
