Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
