so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
