yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
