only you would photoshop your dick
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
