why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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