I puked a lego.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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