Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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