i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
