I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He felt like a one man threesome
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
