I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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