a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
