had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
