TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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