you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
