Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
