its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
