I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
