are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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