I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We are two peas in an std pod
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
